Thursday, August 8, 2024

Jon Helland was my teacher

Jon Helland's Pirate, with Barbara helping
 





















From the Really Old File: I was five when I got art lessons from famed San Diego artist Jon Helland. We worked on this pirate together for one day's lesson. If you Google his other work, you see this looks like a child did it by comparison; but if you saw my other art as a five year old, this looks like an adult did it by comparison.


The end of the story is, according to Mom, Jon came back to her after about six lessons and told her he wouldn't teach me any more. He said I was too free, and he was more finicky and detail-oriented in his work--he was worried he'd spoil me. I think he was very thoughtful--as an artist who was trying to supplement his income by teaching little kids, to give that up. I liked his studio in La Jolla, by the way, and his nearly-blind partner was cool, too--he had cookies for me every time. 





Monday, July 1, 2024

The Good Shepherd

 



















Hi, I thought I'd share here that I was walking this evening, and I could faintly smell that seaweed scent of the ocean on the breeze. Somehow--perhaps because I grew up in La Jolla--I felt very comfortable living here, not anxious anymore about Alex's Mom dying and then what would we do and where would we go, Cedar City or where? Rent or buy?

I felt at home. I felt that I didn't actually have to face packing and moving. We could simply use this place as our base camp for the remainder of our lives, taking time off for missions, or travels, or renting in faraway places for awhile. Just locking up here and going. All my painting stuff could stay here. Kitchen stuff. Etc., etc.

I didn't get to that feeling by thought, it simply came unbidden, as a gift. I do think that smells from our childhood are really hardwired. But, whatever, I am feeling comfortable and calm being here, and I thank my God for this peace.

Sunday, May 5, 2024

"Some Children See Him..."

I am grateful that I can still see. I had cataract surgeries two years ago, and all is now well and good (after some reactive cloudiness after the surgeries, that got laser zapped). I just had a checkup and my eyes are good enough, the macular hole that happened, has not grown, the glaucoma eye pressure got released by having cataract surgery... hey hey, it's good enough for me!

If I couldn't see, I couldn't paint or draw--plus a heckuva lotta other things, too. I'd be really dependent although probably fine around the house. So, thank you God that you've left me with enough eyesight to do pretty well! And I am grateful for my hearing, too--still can eavesdrop on whispers across the room, heh-heh.

And I have two hands and feet! Mobile! And still, plenty of flexibility to put on my own shoes and stuff like that. 

Also, Alex and I have been married 37 years, coming up this week (May 6, 1987). Our relationship rocks! Again, all parts are fine, check. Flexibility fine, check. Love of adventure fine, check. Spiritually okay with God, check! 

The above painting is captioned from one of Alfred Burt's Christmas Carols, explaining that Jesus appears in all racial "colors" to different children around the world. I so believe that Jesus is more likely than not to look Semitic, or at least more like someone from the Middle East than from England. Take a look at classical art renditions of Christ and decide for yourself. Of course, when we meet him face to face, we'll see...

 

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Let this Cup Pass from Me

I have learned something about my "art." I painted the above painting, and worked and reworked the face because I felt it looked like Jesus was just an old Chinese sage, not "Jesus." I actually got so disappointed with it I tore it up. ðŸ˜¬

So now, I have the photo, but no one has the original. 

I look at it now, months later, and I see mothing wrong with having a Chinese Christ. I see that, despite my personal cultural biases, and my perfectionism (I didn't want to paint Jesus Christ without it being worthy of the Sistine Chapel, it seems), my "art" still exists, because  it is a gift. And even if I create something I don't personally care for at the moment, it still comes out artistic. I can't help it!

I have, happily, been able to post my work in a couple of groups online that are full of artists encouraging each other. I get surprised at "how many likes" I get (boy, this is a dangerous path, isn't it?) on some of my work that I didn't think were so hot.

I need to remember that it is not others' opinions that I need to seek, but God's. Still, God is often silent about my art. I guess it is because--nice as it is--art is not as important as staying true to the Gospel, for instance. Loving one's neighbor. Supporting the righteous efforts of family members. So I figure God lets me do my thing as long as I am sure to have the right priorities with my time and talents.



 

Friday, April 26, 2024

I have a couple of callings--Ward Temple and Family History Consultant (I remember this long name by thinking, WTF History Consultant), and Stake Temple and Family History Consultant, working weekly at the Family Search Center in Bellingham.

I thought I'd post videos on the Ward's Relief Society page, and so I made up the above video to introduce the idea of the Fan Chart (a very useful way to look at your family lines). I was so proud of myself! First time making a video...

That went well, but I realized that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has got a TON of videos explaining how to use the FamilySearch and FamilyTree programs/apps and my little offerings were probably not needed. It reminded me of the experience recorded by the prophet Jarom in the Book of Mormon:

(Jarom 1:2) ...but I shall not write the things of my prophesying, nor of my revelations. For what could I write more than my fathers have written? For have not they revealed the plan of salvation? I say unto you, Yea; and this sufficeth me.
 

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Don't Go Home Without It

 

He Is Risen!

Just a thought... I feel that it is just fine to depict Jesus Christ as someone approachable, someone you might meet on the street. I'll post more Jesus pictures as I make them.

I am grateful for modern conveniences! Like computers and cellphones that take better pictures than any ol' camera! So I can do this blog.

I am grateful that I have a Temple Recommend--it's like my passport to the Celestial Kingdom. Some Saints herniate about whether they are good enough, they know mentally God has forgiven them for their sins but they continue to berate themselves for the same sins, worry about their Spiritual Performance, and if God REALLY will let them into heaven and give them a big hug when they get there. I was one of these, so I can yak about it.

Basically, it finally dawned on me that if I'm good enough to have a Temple Recommend, I'm good enough for the Celestial kingdom. Even if I like to eat sugar too much. Even if I sometimes don't want to give a talk in church. Even if... you get the idea?

There was a TV ad a long time ago for American Express credit cards, this guy held his hand out with his card and smiled and said, "don't leave home without it." Kind of a meh commercial, but the tagline stuck with me. I'd redo that as, here's this angel, holding a temple recommend, and saying, "don't go home without it."

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Butterfly thoughts


Hi! I wanted to take a moment to let you know that my conversion story, which appeared in the January 1995 issue of the Ensign magazine, is listed to the right as a link to a book I wrote, "Visions of Kolob," for sale on Amazon. BUT, it is also available free to read if you access the Ensign magazine in the Gospel Library app, which link is here:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1995/01/the-power-to-change?lang=eng

(You're gonna have to grab that link, copy & paste since I haven't yet figured out how to make it a hyperlink in blue from here--I don't know how to edit in html at all).

That done, I have a thought for today:

In a recent seminar for seminary and institute teachers, Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve said: "Teaching is not talking and telling. Rather, teaching is observing, listening and discerning..." (From https://www.thechurchnews.com/2011/12/10/23226076/teaching-is-not-talking-it-is-observing-listening-and-discerning/#:~:text=Bednar%20of%20the%20Quorum%20of%20the%20Twelve,is%20observing%2C%20listening%20and%20discerning%20so%20we)

"Observing, Listening, and Discerning." I'll call that "being OLD." I have recently come to realize that JUDGING and DISCERNING are very different things. To discern is to see (observe) something that is going on that is not blatantly obvious. To discern is to tell from someone's facial expression, for example, how they really feel despite what words are coming out of his or her mouth. Discerning is seeing, for example, the real interaction between a mother and child on a playground when they're too far away to eavesdrop on their conversation. You can discern many emotions, and spiritual states from observing and listening to what is and isn't being said. How is this done? Through the Holy Spirit. It is a gift given by God to many of his children. It is a gift that seemed to come to me in my early childhood--so I don't remember asking for it!--but it is something one can request in prayer, too.

To judge is to take what you discern and apply some sort of Good or Bad label to it. Now, if you are driving and you discern that the driver in front of you is acting erratically and his car is drifting, it might be well to judge that it's time to put on your brakes and stay out of the imminent accident! Judging if a drink is too hot to put to your lips by discerning that there is a lot of steamy heat coming from it, well, this too is an example of judging things in the real world that have consequences, good or bad.

But when judgement is about spiritual good or bad, or as they used to call it, when you're making a "value judgment," you're on shaky ground. We are told in scripture not to judge unrighteous judgment, and it's not talking about whether or not something's physically dangerous, it's talking about judging character, morals, whether someone's going to Heaven or Hell...

Wanna keep this blog short, so there's my take for the day (thank you, Elder Bednar), that we should actively engage ourselves in discerning (through observing and listening), but AVOID judging others (and ourselves) in a moralistic way.

Until next time,
Barbara



Chrysalis Opens! Butterfly Emerging!

 



Hebrews 4:15--"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin"

Hello, readers!

Those of you who have followed me because of my work as a pottery student with Dave Stewart and Marguerite Wildenhain; those of you who have my book "Clay in The Potter's Hands" -- 
see "Clay in the Potter's Hands--Musings of a Wildenhain Potter" on Amazon, paperback and kindle -- have also noted that I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1992.

Last evening, I had an inspiration to continue my personal journaling right here on Blogger! I will thus begin to do so, with photographs of my watercolor and ink artwork featured in each post. The last few posts are the twitches and stretches of a changeling encased in a chrysalis, not exactly knowing who she was.

This post is the first of the butterfly Barbara. Wings are still wet. Watch me change. And learn how to embed links in this format (which I don't seem to be able to do yet).

Comments are welcome, though they are filtered through me as per Blogger instructions. I will post all except vulgarity, so if you want to hate me, comment politely! 😉  Barbara

Saturday, March 2, 2024

New Videos!

 Hey Hey, a couple of new short videos of me doing watercolors--


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kQiLf1q0tY&t=15s




also, this short:




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTLmCBwE4RI  if you can't see the video above.



Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Art Demo!

 Hi, just made a demo video of a painting I did. This doesn't have anything to do with my previous clay work but it's about what I'm doing now.

You can find the four-minute version on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBlBQkkXszA&list=PLKnLYl_T0IWu2SVZZSNHtKWkh4JqF5tcu&index=3&t=5s



Sunday, December 24, 2023

Experimenting with making GIFs!

 

Hi, I'm back, and I'm trying to get this GIF to work. Let's try this one, it should continue endlessly:


OK, so I want to backlink to Etsy. I can mention that link here in the text:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BarbsInkWatercolors

and I will also add it to the right:


 




Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Dave Has Gone the Way of All the Earth


I didn't know this for sure until I got a letter from Gail Stewart (his daughter) today, thanking me for a copy of my book "Clay in the Potter's Hands," but Dave died in 2019. Preceded in 2017 by his dear wife Nyva. 

Guess I have a lump in my throat as I amend my Christmas List address book. At least I now have Gail's address. And gosh, she's a grandma!

We are all going to die. I feel somewhat sad that there is so much delusion amongst the younger people, so much ignorance of what the USSR was really about, what socialism really is, what damage censorship and political correctness can do--whether from the right or the left. We had McCarthyism in the 50's where there was fear of "Reds under the bed." Now we have the "omission" of many episodes of JAG on Amazon Prime Video because they didn't like the politics expressed. Or missing posts in Facebook. Or listing President Bush as an example of a jingoist if you Google "jingoism." But what can I do about it? I'm just a very well-educated old woman who could write a book--but then it wouldn't be published, would it? I hope this post isn't taken down...

I am glad the Stewarts didn't face COVID-19 or the bizarre world panic, the co-opting of a true pandemic for political purposes, or the rebranding of patriotism as jingoism. 

I'm glad that Renoir's Testament can still be found and read. Even if only in French, except for Marguerite's translation. It's a remarkably refreshing and urgent plea for honesty and integrity in art.

I suppose I should plug my book now, "Clay in the Potter's Hands." If you are an artist or desire to be something that your parents don't care for, you should read it. It's on Amazon, & comes in a Paperback version and also a Kindle version.

I hope that the youngest generation will go, "wait a minute..." and reject all the bullpucky that's been building for the last, oh, ten years. I hope. And pray.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

    


 Just an update, y'all...

    I've been working on turning my kindle short stories and my "Clay in the Potter's Hands" into paperbacks. I've got both with proofreaders now. Stay tuned...

Monday, January 11, 2016

New: I'm a Kindle Author






































Just to let you know, my followers: I have published "Clay in the Potter's Hands: Musings of a Wildenhain Potter" on Amazon's Kindle site, as an e-book. In it, I have rounded out and filled in what's been blogged here, making the book a bit easier to read and more autobiographical.

I also have several short stories published there as well. The links are at the top right of this blog page, if you're interested (there's always a free sample to read there).

So much for shameless self-promotion!


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Rodin's Testament



























Marguerite Wildenhain often read to us while we sat eating our bagged lunches under the tree or in the sunshine by the door of the barn at Pond Farm. When she read her translation of Auguste Rodin’s Testament I felt moved to tears. I pass it on for the next generations of potters, sculptors, and artists to feast upon:

AUGUSTE RODIN: TESTAMENT
Translated by Marguerite Wildenhain

You, young men, who want to be the officiants of Beauty, may it please you to find here the summing-up of a long experience.

Love devotedly the masters who have preceded you.

Incline yourselves before Phidias and Michel-Angelo.  Admire the divine serenity of the one, the fierce anguish of the other. Admiration is a generous wine for noble spirits.

Nevertheless, beware of imitating your elders. Respectful of tradition, learn to discern what it contains that is eternally fecund: the love of Nature, and Sincerity.  These are the two strong passions of the geniuses.  All have adored Nature, and they have never lied. Thus tradition hands you the key, thanks to which you can evade routine. It is the tradition itself that asks you to question reality over and over, and that forbids you to blindly submit yourself to any master.

May Nature be your only goddess. Have in her absolute faith. Be certain that she is never ugly and limit your ambition to being true to her. Everything is beautiful for the artist, for in every being and in everything, his look will discover the character, that means the interior truth which shines through the form.  And this Truth is Beauty itself. Study religiously: you cannot miss finding Beauty for you will encounter Truth.

Work relentlessly.

You, sculptors, try to fortify inside of you the sense of depth. The mind has difficulty to get familiar with this notion.

It imagines distinctly only the surfaces. It is not easy for it to visualize forms in depth. All the same, this is your task.

Above all, establish clearly the large planes of the figures that you are sculpting. Accentuate vigorously the orientation that you give to each part of the body, head, shoulders, pelvis, legs. Art requires decision.  It is through the well-stated lines that you are able to catch depth.  When your planes are set, all is found. Your statue is already alive. The details grow and place themselves out of their own.

When you model, do not ever think in terms of surface, but of relief.  Let your mind conceive all surface as the extremity of a volume that is pushed out from the back.  Imagine the forms as being pointed towards you.  All life surges from the center, then grows and blossoms from the inside towards the outside.  In the same way, in beautiful sculpture one can always feel an interior impulsion. This is the secret of the antique art.

You, painters, observe in the same way the reality in depth. Look, for instance, at a portrait painted by Raphael.  When this master shows a person from the front, he makes the chest go obliquely and gives you thus the illusion of the third dimension. All great painters have tried to sound space. It is in this notion of depth that their strength resides.  Remember this: there are no traits, there are only volumes. When you are drawing, don’t worry about the contour, but about the relief.

Practice without end. Break yourself at your job. Art is only feeling. But without this knowledge of the volumes, of proportion, of colors, without the skill of the hand, the most alive feeling is paralyzed. What would the greatest poet become in a country whose language he would ignore?  In the new generation of artists there are numbers of poets who, unhappily, refuse to learn to speak! Thus all they do is stammer.  Be patient!  Do not count on inspiration. It does not
exist.  The only qualities of the artist are wisdom, attention, sincerity, will. Accomplish your work like honest workers.

Be truthful, young men.  But that does not mean be flatly exact.  There is a low exactitude, that of the photography and of the casting.  Art begins only with the inner-truth.  May all your forms, all your colors, express feelings.  The artist who is satisfied with the make-believe and who reproduces servilely details without value, will never become a master.  If you have visited any cemetery in Italy, you certainly have noticed with what childishness the craftsmen in charge of the decoration of the tombstones have tried to imitate embroidery, lace, hair-do in their statues.  Perhaps they are correct, but they are not true, for they do not speak to the soul. Nearly all our sculptors remind you of those Italian cemeteries.  No inner-truth, thus no art. Be in horror of this junk!

Be profoundly, fiercely truthful.  Never hesitate to express that which you feel, even when you find yourself in opposition to general ideas.  You may not be understood at once, but your isolation will be short.  Friends will soon come to you; for that which is deeply true for one man, is so for all.  No grimaces, though—no contortions to attract the public! Simplicity, naiveté! The most beautiful subjects are in front of you: they are those that you know best.

My very great and very dear friend Eugene Carrier, who left us so soon, showed his genius painting his wife and his children. It was enough for him to celebrate maternal love to be sublime. The masters are those men who look with their own eyes at what everybody has seen, and can see the beauty in that which is too common for other minds.

Bad artists always wear other people’s boots!

The great thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live.  To be a man before being an artist. Real eloquence, said Pascal, laughs at “eloquence.” Real Art laughs at “Art.” Again I cite the example of Eugene Carrier.  In the shows, most pictures are just “Painting:” his seemed among the others, as windows open on life!

Accept the fair criticisms.  You will recognize them easily. They are those that confirm some doubt that has been worrying you. Don’t let yourself be hurt through those that your conscience does not admit.  Don’t be afraid of unjust criticisms. They will revolt your friends.  It will force them to reflect on the sympathy that they have for you and they will more resolutely show it when they more clearly discern the motives for this sympathy.

If your talent is fresh, you will have only few partisans at first and you will have a multitude of enemies. Don’t be discouraged.  The first ones will triumph, for they know why they love you: the others ignore why you are odious to them. The first ones are passionate for truth and recruit without end new adherents: the others do not show any lasting zeal for their false opinion.  The first are tenacious:  the others turn to any wind. Victory of truth is certain.

Do not waste your time trying to knot social or political ties. You will see many of your colleagues arrive through intrigue to honor and fortune:  they are not real artists.  Some of them nevertheless, are very smart and if you should try to compete with them on their terrain, you will have to consume just as much time as they do, that means your total existence:  you won’t have a minute left to be an artist. Love passionately your mission. There is none more beautiful. It is much loftier than the common man believes.

The artist gives a great example. He adores his profession; his most precious reward is the joy of doing it well.  Actually, alas, one convinces workers to hate their work and to sabotage it. The world will not be at peace till all men have artists’ souls; that is, when all have pleasure in their tasks.

Art is also a magnificent lesson in sincerity.  The real artist expresses always what he thinks at the risk of upsetting all established prejudices.  He thus teaches frankness to his fellow men.

Now, let us imagine what wonderful progress would be realized at once, if absolute truthfulness reigned among men!  Oh, how society would quickly reject all errors and ugliness that she would have admitted, and with what rapidity would our earth become a Paradise!



If You're a Real Potter, Don't Move

Casa Loma studio































Looking back at thirty-plus years of making pots, I have to admit that every time I got a new studio going it took an inordinate amount of time to restart and get back up to speed. I have had four studios: Rocky Road Pottery in Prescott, Arizona; Desert Willow Pottery in Borrego Springs, California; Desert Willow Pottery (again) in Cedar City, Utah; and Casa Loma Pottery in San Antonio, New Mexico. Let me describe them a bit.

Rocky Road Pottery: I lived in a summer cabin in Prescott, but I lived there year-round. The pottery had been a woodworker's shed, very rustic. It was eight feet across and sixteen feet long, with a concrete floor and a roof that thankfully never leaked. It had wooden but uninsulated walls, a window to gaze out from my wheel, and an 8x8 covered "porch" at the front end. Inside, I had my homemade kickwheel, an old kiln that had maybe two cubic feet of space in it, a new Crusader 5 cubic foot kiln, an old wringer washtub that I made clay in, shelves, racks, and bags and jars of chemicals. There was no heater.

Actually, the cabin only had minimal wood heat, and when the fire died down during the winter nights, there would be a skin of ice on the cat's milk bowl. INSIDE the house. I'd open the refrigerator and feel warm air coming out. My winter routine would be to get up and dressed warmly, heat water for coffee, go out to the shop and turn on the electric space heater, pick up a load of wood and come back into the cabin to start up the fire in the Ashley stove. After two and sometimes three cups of coffee I could face going out into the barely-warm-enough studio to start work. I learned that "they ain't NOTHIN' colder than the cold, cold clay, honey." Though the electric heater had warmed things up tolerably,I had to bring hot water from the house to throw with. And still my hands would get so awfully cold!

I learned that it is no good for greenware to freeze! I did enjoy the summers, though. And while I was working on pots in Prescott, I endlessly tested clays and glazes (I made my own formulations), prepared for to shows, learned how to build my own displays,went to shows,  collected sales taxes, tried to network and to find shops to carry my work, and learned to juggle utility and food bills. This was during the recession of the mid-Seventies, and many people told me they liked my work but had to feed the kids.

Aaaagh! Those were the hardest days. I was really alone, and David Stewart had told me to "go forth and pot," that he'd shown me everything I needed to know to get started on my own. That I shouldn't try to be a potter in California (I believe he thought Arkansas would be the best place but that was too far from my family for me). That I should let the rubber meet the road, and see if I really had it in me to be a potter. Well, Prescott taught me that I had guts.

But, I wasn't making it financially. I had to slink home to California, and give up the Prescott cabin, and pottery for awhile. A hiatus ensued where I got a "real" job as an advertising manager for a newspaper, followed by a short marriage, followed by a stint working at a radio telescope, then as a florist. I turned to art--my watercolor-and-inks--and spent awhile at art shows making slightly more money than I had as a potter. I believe I made money making stained glass objects and windows, too.

Then, I married Mr. Right, and he had a job that paid pretty well (met him at the radio observatory). He urged me to restart the pottery. So I claimed half of our one-car garage (which was somewhat more space than I had had at Rocky Road Pottery). All my pottery stuff that I'd dragged back from Prescott got dusted off (okay, that's a joke, because there's not much BUT dust on everything a potter owns), and began again. The setting-up part required reconfiguring a garage; shelving had to be set up the way I wanted, 220v had to get the right shape plug for the new kiln (I'd sold the Crusader, now got a new Aim kiln, again about 5 cubic feet. Had decided I would get pre-pugged clay from Aardvark instead of struggling to make my own. Needed to figure out where to put it (outside the garage under a tarp). More tests. Shrinkage tests, glaze tests--all of this has to be done since I'm now at a different altitude, I have water that's full of calcium, I have a new clay body that doesn't quite work with the old glazes.

I sat for hours in the living room, with a calculator and note paper, titrating chemical glaze formulae, substituting ingredients. Making notes, testing several new iterations of glazes each time. Making a kilnload of test pots, knowing that they all might look like crap, but that I couldn't go forward until I had good stuff. And not really able to fire a half-full kilnload for testing, because the results aren't the same.

I actually did pretty well in Borrego, with Desert Willow Pottery. I had annual shows at my house, the way Dave Stewart did; people knew me and would call me to see if they could come over to pick out, oh, a wedding gift or something. I had two local shows I was in, and two or three our-of-town shows I went to. That was busy! I must admit, I liked the heat of the desert better than the freezing cold of the mountains. I did call it quits in the summers when drops of sweat were falling off my nose down into the pots on the wheel, though. 115 degrees in the shade is just too much.

My husband's work came to an end, however, and here is the potter's dilemma: if you're a "REAL" potter, it's YOU who makes the money (such as it is). You may have a wife or helpmeet of some kind but YOU do the work. You are not a "REAL" potter if you have a partner who makes sufficient money to make what you earn look like a kid's allowance. You are not a "REAL" potter if you have to pull your studio up by its roots and move somewhere else where you will (happily) have enough money coming in by your partner but you have to start from scratch.

In certain get-togethers with other "Pond Farmers" (students of Marguerite Wildenhain who had the opportunity of attending her summer schools a her studio/school Pond Farm), I felt a slight snubbing by some potters who were smoothly living their lives with studios that were entrenched for years in the same location. I was seen as a wanna-be, I guess, because I have had multiple studios, not enough "cred" in the marketplace.

I didn't care, as I loved and still love my husband very much, and I know that whatever I did I was doing it gung-ho, and as honestly as I could. But, beware! The dilemma is real, and the choices you make are truly life-changers, in the long run.

Back to the story of my multiple studios. We found ourselves in Logan, Utah, in a house with a beautiful warm , finished basement but too darn nice to get covered with clay dust. The garage was big enough, but unheated, and Logan was gonna be colder than Prescott in winter. I decided to give up on the pottery and basically sold all my equipment and tools and supplies.

"Time passed, as time does" (quoted from the movie Enemy Mine). We moved from Logan to Cedar City, Utah. I had designed my home in Borrego, and I designed our home now in Cedar City, with a heated three-car garage, one bay of which was separate from the other two and fully loaded with built-in shelves and 220v for my new pottery. I had the design for my kickwheel in my head, and this time I asked a neighbor who was a fantastic woodworker to build it for me. He built it so stout that my every kick translated 100% into flywheel motion--there was nary a wobble or one lost erg of foot energy lost. I got a new kiln, dang if I can remember what kind, this time. It was 6-plus cubic feet this time, and now they made them with a lot thicker walls and extra insulation. By golly, they had digital controls now, too--no more getting up every hour all night long to go check on the cones! I spent bucks for that but, oh, so worth it!

Now I had warmth, I had the equipment, I had saved a few good glaze recipes and I moved forth hoping to avoid a complete reboot. There weren't many shows locally, but I started out with a first annual show/sale at my home, which was pretty nice. I guess I spent most of a year getting up to speed, and then ...

My husband lost his job. We stayed several months, thinking we could hunker down and that we had enough to "retire early" on. But, in the long run, it wasn't to be. I had built a dream home. I had my dream studio. Sigh. But (and here is wisdom), if you have married someone you really care for, their happiness is at least as important as your own. If they start showing signs of, hmmm, existential depression? Then you've got to deal with it. He could get some sort of "job" for money, but his training and love was in computers, science, physics, astronomy. He was too young to be put out to pasture, his brain still needed to engage in difficult problems. He was grinding, mentally. I suggested he look nationally for some work, and told him I'd be willing to move. Hardest dang decision, but I saw the handwriting on the wall. And I knew from living with husband number one what it was like to live with someone who was not a happy camper.

A dream job showed up, at an observatory in New Mexico. We moved, and after renting eventually found a good place to live, with an outbuilding that was the size of a two-car garage (unbelievably large space for me to pot in)! It took me a while to get over losing the dream home, but such lis life!

Now hubby was happy, and yet again I spent time fixing the shop up (adding 220, insulation, electric heaters, water supply, shelving, etc. etc.) New clay bodies to test (although by this time Laguna Clays were available here too so I had familiar clays to play with). I got a fantastic book by Hesselberth on Cone 6 glazes and how to make sure the glaze FITS the clay body. I got his glaze-making program, GlazeMaster II, which allowed me to do the titrating without hand-computation, so that I could conduct tests faster. I actually used one of his basic glazes, and tweaked it a little, instead of making up my own from scratch. It was SO much easier!

At Casa Loma (our ranchette in New Mexico) I finally got some steam up and forward progress in my pottery life. I was able to hold shows at my studio, more than once! I was able to put pots into local shops. I decided to skip shows, I was getting older and they were too tiring. And my glazes got good enough and reliable enough that I dared to think about approaching the gift shop people in the Albuquerque Airport with a "line" of simple gift ware, each stamped on the bottom with a stamp I had made saying "Handmade in New Mexico." How great was that day when the buyer and her committee looked over my work and with big smiles said to me, "we can do business!"

Now I learned what it was to make a commitment for several hundred dollars' worth (wholesale) of pots every six months. I had set it up so that I could DO it, and not overreach, but still there was the pressure that in earlier chapters you heard me eschew. I left plenty of time for myself to do just "whatever I want to" pottery and sculpture, though. I actually felt I was in a heyday, and this lasted me for a couple of years.

Then something happened, but it wasn't quite like a sudden job layoff.  Something about being done with a project, and other people around my husband getting laid off. The project was going from a research/prototype stage to a care-and-feeding stage, and it just wasn't the same. My husband was finally feeling the burnout and time-to-retire melody. We happened to drive through a nice place in Arizona on our way to my California family, and both got the distinct impression to move there.

What can I say? I guess I really must not be a "REAL" potter after all. We have been living in Arizona now for five years and I decided that their (very nice) group studio here was just not enticing enough for me. I have no place to make pots at home, and I have finally lost the driving urge to push hard against the clay. I have loved making pots, and I have loved doing lots of other things.

If you have the chance and the temperament to stay in one place for a long period of time in your life, then you may well become a renowned potter, no matter how talented (or not) you are. All of that judgmental stuff about whether your work is "good" or not is just that, after all--judgmental stuff. You do it because you want to, because you are enchanted by the clay, because you have to do it, because you are an artist, a seeker of truth, you strive to make beautiful things, because it GRABS you. Being in one place and sticking to it gives you the advantage of not having the frustration of starting over time after time. But, if you have the temperament of a nomad, or a partnership with other humans including children, your potting life will be more erratic. Have no fear, though--that life is just as fulfilling! But it's not according to the ideal pattern set by Marguerite and Dave--the noble potter grown like a tree with deep roots into the earth, ever with your eyes on the clay.

I have to end here with a deep bow to Rol Healy. Rol was a Pond Farmer, but like me, he felt he was snubbed by several in "the group." He was a gentle and very creative soul. His pots "flopped" more than he wanted (glaze chemistry was really not his thing). He made saltshakers that looked like monks, a clay umbrella stand that looked like Noah's Ark, and he loved to garden. He made lovely planters, homes for his plants. He taught English to make ends meet. About being a potter he remarked mildly, "I get up and have breakfast. Then I go outside and see which way I turn." Meaning, his studio was in one direction and the garden was in the other. I have the utmost respect for him and for his laid-back take on life and art. Potters do, after all, play with fire. A weaver can get up and leave the loom for days, without a care. So can an oil painter, or someone who knits. Potters, once they've thrown some pots, MUST tend them through their drying state or they may crack. Once the kiln is fired up, it MUST be tended to avoid failure. There is not nearly the opportunity to just walk away and have a day in the garden, or at the beach, or whatever. What I'm trying to say, I think, is that you do have to have a certain amount of "driven-ness" to be a potter, you do have to have time-commitment capability. Rol was only just on the edge of that, and I guess so was I. We did our best, and our best was just fine.

Stay put if you can, and if that's your "thing." It will help you get better-known. But if you're a nomad at heart, and still want to be a potter, I say go for it. You will have quite the adventure!

Better Times, and a New Book

Now Got Curly Hair, thanks to Chemo!
It's been a year since I had abdominal surgery and thought I was a goner. I'm now back to normal health and, although I have not been making pots, I'm active and creative and ornery as usual. I'm now working on a book about "The Bomb" and the effect that ducking under the desk during air raid drills in the fifties and sixties had on us Baby Boomers.

In order to test my self-publishing skills, I've decided that this blog, which has had extensive viewing and several comments, should become my latest and longest e-book for Kindle. I've been massaging the words into chapters; I'll be adding chapters, too. I will leave this blog here for the nonce (if not indefinitely), but I will let my followers have a link to "Clay in the Potter's Hands" e-book once it is published. Then I'll be ready to tackle putting "Under the Desk" together. Stay tuned...

Friday, January 2, 2015

Sad Update

Hi, my followers--

I've had a serious health issue the last 2 months. I am finally at home, propped up in a lounger and able to blog a bit.

First let me tell you that no matter what you think is important in your life, the love of your family and friends is paramount. If you've got a complaint with parent, child, or sib, DEAL WITH IT NOW! You have no idea how much time is left you--or them.

I've had a bit of time to lie around, and I found that David & Gail Stewart actually have a little gallery somewhere in San Diego. His paintings (no pots anymore)--full of red, vivid colors, flowers, and female nudity (what's not to sell)?   ;-)  He's having a blast, I think. Go to dgstewartgalleries.homestead.com.

His Lions Valley ware is no longer being made but can be bought here & there online.

I feel I'm kind of out of it and that I am not telling you anything you don't already know...

In fact, this will be my last post in this blog.

Perhaps I can share an anecdote or two about a time when I was studying with him at his Dulzura home...

Ah, what to mention? The family of skunks under the house? The cactus/euphorb garden decorated with many shards of failed pots? Nyva's beautiful handmade rag rug on the living room floor? Wildenhain pottery in a glass case? Drinking tea from on of Dave's special teapots with the leaf filters? Smoking... explaining that his yellow teeth were actually from the natural fluoride in the water in Deaf Smith county TX where he grew up (he had no cavities)?

There were two handbuilt kickwheels in his studio. If he was throwing something large, he could let it dry a bit on one and use the other to continue on other pots.

He didn't use a chuck, just threw directly on the wooden wheelhead (some hardwood, looked like maybe he mounted a cheese cutting block to the flange on top of the rod). He had a handmade wire cutter, and just cut each pot off while rotating the wheel. You can see the distinctive twisted spiral cutmark on most of his piece bottoms.

His "drying room" was a wooden trunk, with plaster cast into the bottom which he could keep damp when he put the lid on the trunk. Never fussed with wrapping stuff in plastic. OK I take that back--if he had something handbuilt going on the work table he covered that up with plastic.

He took me through all the "forms" or representative types. I think that info is out there thanks to Marguerite...short cylinder (dog dish!), tall cylinder, bowl, etc...

He worked with colored slips that he made from scratch, and did all the sgraffito decoration work in greenware. Then he bisqued, and basically dunked everything into one glaze. More efficient than at colleges where almost nothing is done to greenware and all your time is spent figuring out which glaze of a dozen to use.

He used bits of raw clay on the bottom of each bisqued, glazed, and wiped-bottom pot, to prop them in the kiln. These popped off easily after the glaze firing (though I remember he had a grinder in his studio--for goofs!)

The trouble with doing all your decorating on greenware is that there is a window of time you've got to get it gone in, then you're out of luck. I found that if I bisqued my pots, then used black wax resist to carefully outline my designs (carefully! as one mistake ruins it), then I had all the time I needed to apply underglazes with a dropper to make my colors...then I could dunk the bisqued pots into a single semitransparent matte glaze.

The results were not Marguerite, nor David, but Barbara.

If you should see a Marguerite Wildenhain Retrospective Art show somewhere, I hope there are many pots of her students there to view as well. You will see that each potter is unique--BUT--that each screams "Wildenhain" as well. We're all old farts now, but the legacy of her Pond Farm teaching lives on in the work of hr students; David was her chief assistant, and his influence lives on as well, in the work of those he helped.

Well, I am going to sign off. 

Thanks for following my blog,

Barbara



Tuesday, June 10, 2014

"Uff-Da" -- pouring two buckets of manure into one bucket

OK, the title is just symbolic: I have had another blog at BlogSpot called Barb's Pots, where I showed images of stuff I was doing. After cleaning off my old computer (putting images onto a flash drive) I discovered that almost all the images in the blog were gone. Since I'm not making pots anymore, I decided to abandon that blog anyway rather than try to recover it. The following blog is an "uff-da" attempt to recover what little there was left in that blog and "dump" it here.

Here is the post from Oct. 2012 that still had images. It was my latest & last post there--


Just a quick hello--after nearly two years of restoring a house bought on foreclosure as my all-consuming art project.

I joined the Clay Studio of Green Valley, Arizona, to get my hands back into the sticky stuff. I started by enrolling in a sculpture class--never was in one before. Unfortunately the teacher broke her hip shortly before the class, so no instruction.  However, some experienced students volunteered to man the room during the class time, and have been helpful steering us towards whatever goal we want.

So, here is what I did in two class sessions. She doesn't have a name yet, is about a foot tall, and I plan to bisque her and apply a low-fire crackle matte white glaze as a test of that glaze for a larger piece I have in mind.